What Not to Wear Walking - Fashion Police Edition
Friday July 18, 2008
Are you risking an arrest by the Fashion Police when you step out your door for a walk? While your clothing and gear may be comfortable or functional, it might be why you have trouble recruiting a walking partner.Now, don't get all militant on me about not judging what other people wear. I don't want anybody to skip a single walking minute because they only have white orthopedic shoes and Mom jeans. Just a word to the wise so you may understand why people won't buy your walking stuff at your garage sale. Sob, sob -- happened to me! And most of these photos are of me or stuff from my own closet (except for the flesh colored tights.) And I am fearless and fierce in walking in what is functional and comfortable, with style tossed to the wind! But here are 12 crimes against walking fashion.
Do you have a walking fashion crime to report? You can file it with Officer Wendy in the Comments.
Comments
Here’s one – what’s with the shorts with printing across the rear? Are they worn by gals who really, really want to attract attention to their rears? Because, that’s what it does.
I’m afraid I’ll have to hide from the fashion police. With diabetic neuropathy and arthritis, orthopod shoes with velcro fasteners are really my only option.
But I absolutely guarantee you, you won’t find JUICY in gemstones plastered across my fanny.
I have to admit, I have never seen flesh-colored tights on a walker in my neighborhood. One thing that bugs me is skimpy tank tops that are two sizes too small…not only should the Fashion Police take action, the Skin Cancer Police might need to be called in.
I’ll never forget coming all too close to hitting a man with black skin dressed all in black who was crossing the street mid-block (away from street lights) on a dark winter evening …
There is a gal that jogs in my neighborhood. She is always wearing a pink outfit. Not always wearing the same outfit but always coordinated from head to toe in pink gear of one sort or another. I don’t know who she is but I refer to her as “there goes the pink lady” in my head whenever I see her. I always wonder if she’s in a rut always wearing similar clothes. Otherwise I don’t really give much thought to what the runners and walkers are wearing.
Unfortunately, my husband and I have to wear safety green/yellow t-shirts when we walk our country roads. It’s the only way to keep from becoming a smashed bug on someone’s windshield. We have lots of hills and curves and the cars travel more than 55mph. At least we can be seen now!!
Officer Wendy declares neon-colored shirts fashionable, forever, for walkers. It goes with the “No Black at Night” rule. “No Camo in Daytime” should be the corollary rule. And best of all, “bright colors are good!”
For at least 20 years, we’ve had a senior gentleman walking our walks, Boyd Decker, who dresses in fluorescent pink from head to toe. He calls himself “The Pink Panther.” He and his wife had matching “Double Decker” shirts. Boyd is now 90 and I last saw him on a walk in late May, but he is ailing at the moment. I have hopes he’ll be back on the trail again.
Boyd is definitely tough enough to wear pink with no guff from anybody!